How To Enjoy The Summer When You Feel Fat
We are upon the season where many of you will be spending time poolside for summer parties and picnics, where many of you will visit the beach for vacation. And even in the absence of water festivities, we’ll all still be faced with hot and/or humid weather that will force us to wear less clothes, clothes that reveal more of our bodies, the bodies we so desperately want to hide from the world and from ourselves.
All summer long I witness beautiful women walk around with their heads down, pulling, repulling, adjusting, and readjusting their bathing suits and summer clothes out of self-consciousness and self-loathing. Despite scorching temps, I watch them hide under giant t-shirts and cover ups when pool side or surf side. And I know exactly why they do it, because I was them. For over a decade, I was them. In my head I still am them. I remember what that felt like. I can tap into that shame and embarrassment that I felt and I can bring it up lickety split. As I type this those memories drip out of my eyes, as salty as the sea that we are ashamed to frolic in.
I didn’t know then what I know now. I didn’t know I was beautiful and worthy and totally deserving of rocking a bathing suit like everybody else. I didn’t believe myself to be deserving of a fantastic time. I mean how could I deserve to have a wonderful time and relish in the joy and laughter being had when I allowed myself to binge my way to morbid obesity? I didn’t deserve to be free and have fun. I needed to punish myself. I deserved to be miserable. Sound familiar?
Instead of having fun like everyone else, I would spend the entire time deathly afraid someone would stare at my fat or watch one of my giant boobs fall out of the bathing suit that didn’t fit me right. I was embarrassed to even walk down to the shoreline because all those people lined up there in beach chairs with their toes in the sand would have to see my big cottage cheese ass as I walked by them.
So I mostly stayed on the blanket, under the umbrella, hiding. My girls were little then and they spent most of their time in the shade so it was the perfect excuse for me to stay under there with them, cause you know, I was being a good mom. It had nothing to do with the fact that I rather roll up like a burrito in our beach blanket and hide my hideous self from our happy beach blanket neighbors.
If I could turn back time, I’d frolic around those beaches with my fat ass jiggling in the glorious sun and spread my body out with my kids making sand angels. I’d boogie board and ride those waves the whole way up into someone’s fucking blanket.
I’D FUCKING LIVE!
So as we stare down a glorious summer that’s about to commence, what are you planning to do when you’re faced with swim parties, beach vacations, hot scorching days that demand you to wear shorts and tank tops?
If in the past, you’ve stopped yourself from living, from celebrating and experiencing the joy that the sunshine months bring, can you find it in you to make a vow this year to do something different? To bury your shame in the sand and instead cherish and celebrate who you are?
Are you willing to don your bathing suit and frolic in the water with your kids or grandkids and make forever memories? Are you willing to put a pretty tank top on and let those strong arms of yours jiggle in the sunshine?
I hope you are. I am wishing it for you. I am giving you the sign right now that you need in order to allow yourself to enjoy the season upon us. Give yourself permission to smile, laugh, and experience true joy this summer.
YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT. YOU DESERVE IT JUST AS MUCH AS ANYONE ELSE.
Live your life. No one gives a shit if you’re fat, they only give a shit if you’re miserable.
You don’t have to lose weight to declare yourself worthy of enjoying what summer offers us. You don’t have to punish yourself and put yourself in time-out because of how much you weigh. You can simply allow yourself to love the season you’re in (and yes, I mean that both literally and metaphorically).
I want you to ask yourself just ONE QUESTION? … Do you give a shit what other people look like in a bathing suit?
I bet that you said no.
When aunt Susie shows up at the grad party, do you care if she’s wearing a 3x tank top? When you’re at the public pool with family, do you care if the mom of the family on a neighboring blanket is wearing a 4x swimsuit?
No. You don’t. You don’t care if aunt Susie is wearing a tank top. You’re just glad she came because you love her and know she’s had a rough go of it with her kidney disease and you love seeing her enjoy herself. You don’t care if the mom on the next blanket is wearing a 4x swimsuit, because you’re too busy enjoying your own family and boy is it nice to see that mom kidding around and laughing with her little ones.
No one cares what size your tank top or bathing suit is. No one except you. And it’s about time you stop caring too. It’s time to stop shaming yourself and putting yourself down for getting fat. Who cares?! This comes down to one thing: MINDSET. Change the story in your head. You know, the one where you’re a villain and a horrific person because you’re overweight. The story where you don’t deserve anything good because you can’t buckle down and lose weight.
STOP THIS.
STOP THIS TOXIC MASOCHISTIC STORYLINE.
You are allowed to change the plot and ending at any time. And that time is now.
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*The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content in this article is for general information purposes only. I am not a doctor, nor am I a dietitian. Talk to your physician before making any changes in your diet or exercise regimen. The information found in this article is from various sources which include, but are not limited to, the sites listed above. I encourage you to do your own research and talk with your physician before making any changes in diet or exercise. What has worked for me may not work for you. This information in this article or on this website should never replace or serve as medical or mental health advice.
NEVER DISREGARD PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE OR DELAY SEEKING MEDICAL TREATMENT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU HAVE READ ON OR HAVE ACCESSED THROUGH THIS WEB SITE.
