LOSING WEIGHT IS A MINDF**K
Warning: Adult language
Please do not read any further if you are offended by adult language.
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All this losing weight business is enough to drive someone crazy af.
Okay, today we are gonna try to make sense of the total madness that usually comes with staring down a weight loss journey. We get ourselves so worked up and often completely feel exhausted and frustrated before we even start. People who have never been overweight have no idea. It seems like it would be simple, right? I mean eat a little less, move a little more... easy, right? Well to someone who doesn't need to lose weight, yes, it sounds simple. But omg the mental shit that comes with this stuff. It's so hard to explain it to someone who doesn't know what it's like to be overweight. But I'm assuming if you're reading this, then you're like me and totally know what I'm talking about. You know all about the epic mind fuck that damn near paralyzes you.
Let's start with the practical, more straight forward stuff. Then we'll move into how to deal with the mental stuff (which is the hard shit).
The very first thing I'm gonna say as we get started here is this: Quit waiting to start your diet on Monday, or after a holiday, or after your birthday, or wheneverTF! You need to start right now. Right. Now.
And don't go on a diet. Diets are bunk. They don't work for shit. Diets are a temporary change; one involving drastically cutting calories, eating bland food, and putting yourself through dreaded torture. You need to change....period. Change the way you eat...forever. And before you roll your eyes or look at that statement as an impossibility, it really isn't as hard as you think. Honest.
First of all, you must NOT drastically reduce calories. You must still eat enough to sustain all of your bodily functions. Secondly, you do not need to eat bland foods. Eating healthy can incorporate almost any type of food (within reason) into your food plan. Eating healthy can be delicious, filling, and very satisfying.
For a more detailed guide to eating, check out my articles:
What is the point in putting off another day or another week?? You are only digging the hole deeper. And let's be perfectly honest here, Monday ain't ever coming. I had that same mentality, so you can't bullshit a bullshitter. For 10 years I said, 'I'll start on Monday... So I'll get all my eating in this weekend'. And guess what? In those 10 years, Monday NEVER friggin' came. All those weekends I gorged because it was my last chance to eat that way...well, is it any wonder I hit 262 pounds? Quit lying to yourself. It gets you nowhere. Actually it does...it gets you fat, sad, and permanently glued to your couch.
This is just a small snippet of the dangerous mind games we play in light of our health. We convince ourselves of things we know are not true. We look in the mirror and do not see what others see. This is how our mind protects us from what we don't want to see, what we don't want to face. This is a coping mechanism. One that actually tricks our eyes so that we cannot visually see what we have done to ourselves. Think it can't happen? Think again. The mind is much more powerful than most people realize. And we humans absolutely love to justify our actions. Ah...justification, that wonderful phenomenon that let's us convince ourselves we can do whatever we want. We justify all our binging and laziness by saying things like "I don't have time to exercise." or "I deserve to eat what I want, I work hard and do everything else right, this is my reward to myself." Really???
Let me tell you something. There is no such thing as 'I don't have time.' I said that shit too, I believed it. I thought it was an iron clad excuse. It's bullshit. Do you have time to get sick? Do you have time to get fatter and even more depressed? Do you have time to waste your life being unhappy?
There is ALWAYS time to exercise and eat right. I don't care how early you get up or how late you get home. I get up at 4:30am most mornings because I have no other time in my day for me and my fitness. If you want something bad enough, there is ALWAYS time.
Do you find time to watch a TV show, to tinker around on FaceBook, to surf the web, or to read the paper? You don't need to find hours of extra time. We're talking 15 minutes to start. You can't find 15 minutes? You know you can. Period. Of course, you will want to increase that time after a few weeks, but start small and build up. By then you will have established somewhat of a pattern and it won't seem like such a big deal to add 10 or 15 more minutes.
Okay let's move onto the hard stuff. The stuff that really trips us up and the reason why we end up failing at a weight loss attempt.
Our minds. Our minds and all of the shit buried inside of them.
Your mind is the key to everything. Your mind is what holds you back... But it's also the one thing that can save you.
Destiny and fate are for the backseat drivers of the world. Take the wheel and make your own destiny. Drive yourself to where you want to be. Any destination is possible, but ONLY if you call the shots. The only people who want to hear your excuses are the people who are making them for themselves as well. Misery loves company. But it's lowly company to keep.
“ “Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses””
If you think I'm being rough on ya, believe me it is not my intention. But I know what's up and I know an excuse when I hear one. And believe me, I was more rough on myself than I could ever be on anyone else. I beat myself up for over 10 years, calling myself a disgusting fat cow and a miserable failure, both out loud and to myself. I felt like a failure, a worthless failure that couldn't even find the strength to put a friggin' cookie down. It was a slippery slope and the lower I felt, the lower I went.
{For more on how I used to treat myself and how I changed it around read my article, "Why I Used To Call Myself A Fatass."}
I'd find myself eating the worst possible crap just to eat it, I barely even tasted it and when I did, it didn't even taste worth the misery and guilt it left behind.
I honestly never thought that once I found success and reached my goal, I would have this deep passion for helping people. This drive I have, this want for everybody to feel like I do, it's compelling. I think one of the reasons is because I know how low I was. I know truly and unequivocally how much of a tortured soul I was over my obesity and self-induced poor health. It was a mountain so big and so ominous, I felt as if there was no way around it or over it. But with putting one day at a time and climbing that damn mountain one step at a time, I did it. I climbed that mutha and planted my flag. And I know you hear the cliche 'If I can do it, you can do it.' all the time, but honest to God that's how I feel.
A friend of mine jokes around with me and says I'm building a 'New World Order' by creating all these bad ass women who are empowered by getting strong and healthy. Women who rule not only over their own bodies, but the world they live in. I think my passion also stems from the true realization deep inside me that you really CAN do anything you put your mind to.
For the first time in my life, I believe that 100%. I have all these amazing, wonderful women in my life and it kills me to see them unhappy because of how they look and feel. I feel like it's my right, my duty, and my privilege to show them the way to happiness and health. I always say to them, 'I can't climb the mountain for you, I'm just showing you which one to tackle.'
One of the girls in my Sexy Bitches Workout Group (SBWG), in 4 short weeks, has lost 14 pounds and almost 10 inches! Her pants literally fall off of her. When she talks about it, she beams. Truly beams. Her eyes twinkle with excitement and she looks like she is soaring. She looks beautiful. I can't tell you how wondrous that makes me feel. I can't get enough of it! And she isn't the only success story, the rest of the girls in the group are kicking ass and taking names too.
So in order to lose weight, you obviously have to eat properly AND exercise, but it is the mind that propels you to make those changes.
If you can change how you think, you can change anything.
It's not easy. Our minds are usually set, for better or for worse. But it IS possible... and your future, your health, and your happiness depend on it. Don't wait to be 'ready' to lose weight. There is no such thing.
Just remember, if you do something long enough, it becomes a routine. Why do you think you have been stuck in the habits that have caused you to become so unhealthy in the first place? Well...you started those routines and after a while they stuck. Unstick them by introducing new habits. And remember, a fail proof way to succeed is to...
FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT!
You don't have to be ready. Just go through the motions and take it step by step.
Your mind will get with the program. Some studies show that the body will get used to a new activity or food plan (on a physical level) within one month's time. However, the mind, in relation to making it a true routine habit, can take up to two months or more to get on board. Obviously everyone is different but my point is, do it and do it religiously...and sooner or later, body AND mind will work with you instead of against you.
I don't care if you hate and dread every minute of it, do it anyway. It won't be so daunting for long. One day it will all click in place. All of a sudden, the lights will turn on and you'll be shocked at how easy it is to live healthy and how much you WANT to. You will crave healthy food and you will look forward to exercising. I know it seems crazy, but I promise, if you stay the course long enough, IT WILL HAPPEN.
I still marvel at how when I'm super stressed or upset about something, the first thing I want to do is work out. I swear to you, this is as crazy to me as it is to you! Never in my life would I have ever believed for even a split second that I would want to sweat out my aggression. In the past, a giant glass of milk and a sleeve (or two) of Oreos did the trick. I don't look at food that way anymore...as a medication. I used to self-medicate with comfort foods. And in general, I looked at food as a pleasure and a reward. It's not that, and it NEVER should be. Food is your fuel, it is a requirement.
Don't use food as a drug, or you will surely overdose...over and over again.
I'm not saying there isn't a time and place to enjoy less-than-healthy food, but that is the exception rather than the rule. And as I mentioned earlier, healthy food and meals can be just as delicious and scrumptious as any other food. There is no need to live for your next meal. Your relationship with food needs to change. You don't need to have a wild love affair with food. You need to have an accommodating relationship with food. One where you use it to feed your body essential nutrients and in return you receive strength, energy, and an overall good feeling.
And remember... even though it may take a while for body and mind to get with it or it may take a while to start dropping mad weight, it doesn't take long at all to start feeling good. If you eat healthy, you feel good. Much like if all you eat is fast food and sugary foods everyday, you feel sluggish and run down.
Start today. Just force yourself to go through the motions. Before you know it, it will be a way of life and it won't seem so horrible of a chore anymore. Be your own hero and save yourself. Small steps is all it takes. You can do this.
"Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind." ~Unknown
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*The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content in this article is for general information purposes only. I am not a doctor, nor am I a dietitian. Talk to your physician before making any changes in your diet or exercise regimen. The information found in this article is from various sources which include, but are not limited to, the sites listed above. I encourage you to do your own research and talk with your physician before making any changes in diet or exercise. What has worked for me may not work for you. This information in this article or on this website should never replace or serve as medical advice.
NEVER DISREGARD PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE OR DELAY SEEKING MEDICAL TREATMENT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU HAVE READ ON OR HAVE ACCESSED THROUGH THIS WEB SITE.
