NEED MOTIVATION? This Letter Is Addressed To You
Warning: Adult language.
Please do not read any further if you are offended by adult language.
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Now go on and read it anyway and find out why you're a badass. This letter is for you...
photo credit: pixabay.com
Hi there, Beautiful,
I'm sensing you have hit a plateau in your journey.
First off, I want you to know that I am extremely proud of you. You took the first steps needed to start your journey. That is something to cherish and acknowledge. But you also need to realize this journey is a long one and just like any long voyage, you will encounter bumps in the road. Some will be physical and some will be mental.
It's okay. This is all part of changing and learning.
It is impossible to be going 100 miles per hour all the time. You will have periods that you are totally balls to the wall and full of motivation and hope. And then there are times you will hit a wall. It's something that is a certainty and it WILL happen no matter how strong your willpower. You need to make sure you aren’t interpreting it as a weakness within you.
This life change is exhausting both physically and mentally and it takes constant work and effort, sometimes that wanes a bit. The strength inside of you is what gets you through that. It's never weakness that slows us down, there's ALWAYS strength there...it just gets overshadowed by obstacles sometimes. And it's okay.
When we hit plateaus, we tend to feel guilt. Guilt for what we did to ourselves in the past, guilt for not doing enough in the present. You absolutely need to chuck that emotion right in the trash can. Guilt is a destructive emotion that demands negativity and needs self-loathing to live. It will get you nowhere and it will throw a wrench in the works. There is NOTHING to feel guilty about. When you hit a wall, you find a door. Lean on someone who supports you, lean on yourself, or write in a journal. Find inspiration from somewhere. Look through old pictures, find the thinner girl you want to be again or look at the 'fat' pictures and tell yourself this is over, that you are done with her. Do whatever you need to do to move pass the rut. I'm telling you, you CAN do this. Don't let your head fuck things up for you. Use it to your advantage. That head of yours is what got you in this mess in the first place and it’s the only thing that can get you out of it.
I know this might sound extreme but you need to look at yourself as a warrior. You may think that sounds silly, but you are in the fight of your life here. You are fighting for a chance to be healthy and you are fighting for a chance to be happy. It’s a constant fight each and every day and all day long. It is a war. You need to take one battle at a time. Some you will win and some you will lose.
It's okay. That is what’s suppose to happen.
But make no mistake about it, you are a warrior.
It's unrealistic to think you are going to fly through this journey with no hiccups. If that were the case, every fucking person on this planet would be lean and healthy. This shit is hardcore. At times it will make you cry and feel hopeless. Other times it will make you rejoice and feel on top of the world. It's an emotional roller coaster. It's supposed to be that way. It's a journey. Not a walk in the park.
Stop feeling guilty for being human. Stop feeling guilty for losing your way. Stop feeling guilty. PERIOD. It's a useless emotion that will steer you down the wrong path.
You are an amazing and worthy beautiful woman who has taken those first brave steps of her journey. Many women go their whole lives and never take that first step. Fear pins them down and they can never get up from underneath it. You did. You are chasing your dream. We are all searching for the same thing. Happiness. Happiness within our lives, but mostly within ourselves. This is a war worth fighting for.
It took me two years to get through the weight loss portion of my journey. For the rest of my days, I will continue on my journey; however, instead of weight loss goals, it will be fitness goals, maintaining goals, and personal and internal self-betterment goals.
Since I have already been through the portion you are struggling with, I feel like it would be wrong to not share what I’ve learned (which is the fundamental reason why I started the Half of Gabby blog). I’ll be the first one to tell you that the struggles never end. There will always be something trying to stand in your way. I may have reached goal weight but I have my own current struggles that show up on the regular. But I have enough time under my belt to realize that I don't have to be Superwoman all the time. I will hit obstacles that slow me down... or even knock me down.
It's okay. I know I can work past them. Every hurdle we move past makes us stronger, makes us more sure of ourselves, and teaches us that we CAN accomplish anything we put our minds to.
We as women have a strong, almost primal urge, to fix everything and to do everything. We put everyone else first and we justify ignoring our own needs because that's just the way it is supposed to be.
Well, a big lesson you need to learn, it that is NOT how it's supposed to be. We are supposed to take care of ourselves so that we can THEN be of use to everyone else. It’s wrong to ignore ourselves and neglect our own needs. It is wrong to put ourselves last. By doing that we are perpetuating this cycle of self-loathing and self-neglect onto our daughters. Our actions teach them how to behave. Our actions become ingrained in them. The best thing we can do for our children is to teach them to love themselves and demand respect not only from others, BUT FROM THEMSELVES. And for those of you who have sons, it is a great gift to bestow upon them a deep respect for women. If you tell them to respect women but yet don't respect yourself, they see that. They absorb that. Why should they listen to you if you don't listen to you? Show them how amazing and important women are by treating yourself in a loving and respectful way. They will grow up being drawn to strong, intelligent, and loving women. We do this for our children every time they see us working out, eating healthy, taking time for ourselves, and making ourselves a priority.
Always make sure you take care of yourself. If you don’t, you’ll start to resent all that you do for others and it won’t be meaningful. All these things you do for yourself is a HUGE lesson and message to those around you. If you start respecting yourself, others will start respecting you as well. We show people how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.
And stop feeling bad if you miss a day or a week or a month. Get back on track. Stop feeling guilty that you slipped. It happens, it always will.
It's okay. Some days you’ll be filled with piss and vinegar and super motivated, other days you’ll slip up or be lazy. If that happens, get back on track as soon as possible. By you getting back on track, you're sending a message to everyone around you (but especially to yourself) that nothing will keep you down. It serves as a reminder to those around you that you are dead ass serious about your health and happiness. They will start to see the warrior in you. They will see that when you hit a wall, you don't give up… you find a door.
When I was on my journey, especially in the beginning, I spent so much time crying and doubting myself. It’s important to remind yourself that you can do this. Don’t forget why you started this and keep your dream alive. Take a little time here and there to imagine what your end goal in the future looks like, but don’t live there. Focus on the present. Live in the present. I want you to find the happiness you deserve. I want you to learn you ARE worth it. You won’t be able to find happiness in the future, it doesn’t live there. It’s with you in the here and now. Being skinny is not happiness. Hitting goal weight is not happiness. Loving yourself is happiness.
Your weight does not define your beauty. Who you are on the inside, your soul, defines your beauty. You need to really accept and believe this. Squeezing your tight little ass into a tiny pair of jeans is nice and all, but it doesn't mean shit to anyone. People like you (or don't like you) because of who you are, not because of your weight. Your weight loss journey is about more than just losing weight, it's about gaining a fuller life. It's about destroying what has destroyed you and becoming the very best version of yourself that you can be, inside and out.
All of the hardships that come along with the successes is part of the experience.
Embrace it all so that you can find lessons along the way. Because when you hit your goal weight and catch your dream, it doesn't mean shit if you haven't come to love who you are. It doesn't mean shit if you haven't learned how to be a fierce warrior who can battle through life. Being skinny isn't happiness. Believe me, it is just as hard to maintain as it is to lose, but the journey is more than worth it. You need a warrior mentality to be in this for life.
The low moments are when you learn the most about yourself and the high moments are when you learn that the low moments are worth it… and necessary.
Keep going. Give this new life a chance. Don’t give up like you always have. This isn’t a race. This is a slow climb up a very steep mountain. Each part of the climb gives you what you need to finish the next segment. By the time you hit the top of that sucker, you are unstoppable. The lessons you will have learned about life, about the old you, the new you, and the you that you want to be in the future will arm you with the knowledge, power, and will to accomplish any future goals that you’ll set for yourself. You will be a force to be reckoned with and you will inspire all of those around you.
Because believe me, once you conquer yourself and all those demons that prevented you from starting your journey in the first place, nothing can ever scare you again. You’ll know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you can win any war that presents itself to you. You may lose a battle here or there because that is how life works… but you will always win the war. Because you are, after all, a badass warrior who has already defeated the most dangerous and powerful force on the planet… herself.
Do all you can to keep going, forgive yourself when you hit a roadblock, get back on track as soon as possible, and start truckin’ along again. You will get there. Don’t worry about how long it takes. Time passes quickly no matter what you’re doing so you might as well be doing something that’s working towards your goal.
It’s time to start thinking and start acting like the badass that you are.
Sincerely,
Gabby
Note:
This letter is an edited version of an actual letter I sent to a group of women who I used to train. After a few months, I sensed them feeling that things weren't moving as quickly as they wanted. I wanted to remind them that weight loss isn't something that happens as quickly as we want it to and that you need to stay the course to see results.
I've recently received many emails from readers stating that they have started the New Year off with eating healthy and exercising yet aren't seeing the results they expected. Each time I would read an email, this letter would keep popping into my mind. Finally, I felt like all of my readers who are trying so hard but yet are feeling so frustrated, needed to read this letter. I felt it could prove useful to more than just my small group of trainees.
I wish all of you the very best in your journey. I certainly know that you can do it. If I can do it, ANYONE can do it.
{You can read the actual letter that I sent to my trainees in my article, "When Motivation Disappears".}
"My dream is to have a badass army of women who move throughout the world with grace, confidence, and strength. Imagine a world where women didn't feel weak and self-conscious but instead empowered and inspired. Imagine a world where women knew deep down in their hearts, no matter what their size, that they were beautiful. Oh man... we could rule this whole damn world." ~Gabby
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*The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content in this article is for general information purposes only. I am not a doctor, nor am I a dietitian. Talk to your physician before making any changes in your diet or exercise regimen. The information found in this article is from various sources which include, but are not limited to, the sites listed above. I encourage you to do your own research and talk with your physician before making any changes in diet or exercise. What has worked for me may not work for you. This information in this article or on this website should never replace or serve as medical advice.
NEVER DISREGARD PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE OR DELAY SEEKING MEDICAL TREATMENT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU HAVE READ ON OR HAVE ACCESSED THROUGH THIS WEB SITE.
