Psychology of Cheat Meals
The terms Cheat Meal and Cheat Day are further damaging our relationship with food. On top of worsening the already shaky relationship we have with food, they’re making us feel like shit about ourselves. These phrases have become common descriptors in the diet and health industries and used by millions of us everyday folk. We don’t realize we’re saying anything hurtful or damaging to ourselves. We think it’s an innocent way to describe our treat meals or off days. But every time we say the word cheat we are further solidifying a fucked up notion. A notion that is implying that you are doing something wrong.
This is just another form of self-shaming. Uh oh, you cheated! You ate something bad! YOU are bad.
BULLSHIT. It’s total bullshit.
We need to STOP demonizing food.
You are NOT doing anything wrong because you decide to have a piece of cake. You are not cheating on your ‘diet’ (another term I hate). You are not being weak or gluttonous. You do not need to wallow in guilt. You are not being bad or doing anything wrong.
You’re just eating a piece of fucking cake. That’s it. You don’t have to name your meal or day in order to justify what you’re doing or eating.
You’re not going to gain 10 pounds because you had a piece of your five year old’s birthday cake. No one is going to come and take you away to cake jail because you took a corner piece with extra icing… or a scoop of ice cream with it.
You’re a grown ass adult and you can have a piece of cake without being shamed. You are not a weak, fat, loser because you didn’t opt for baby carrots while everybody else was singing Happy Birthday and shoving cake in their mouths. Hey, if you want to eat baby carrots instead, more power to you! That’s great! But if you want it, have it… and don’t feel bad about it. You don’t have to deem it your cheat meal to eat it.
Now I’m not saying you should be dining on decadent desserts every night. You know damn well if you want to lose weight, these treats can’t be a constant indulgence. But every once in a while, there is absolutely no harm in it. And you don’t have to deem it a Cheat Meal or a Cheat Day for you to make it okay in your brain and vindicate it. Just have it.
When you name it or explain it or have to try to rationalize it, you’re giving it power. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal to simply use the word cheat, but it is. Without even realizing it, you are planting the shame seed deeper and deeper every time you say it. And once the brain synapse bad foods = bad you is formed in your subconscious, it’s a bitch to undo.
You see, all this power we give to food is what gets us in trouble in the first place. We have a tendency to set up very unhealthy relationships with food. We give our power over to it. There is no way in hell we should be taking orders from a donut or letting a piece of pie give us a case of the major feels.
In order to lose weight and get healthy for good, you must learn to take the emotion out of eating. Because let me tell you, long after you hit goal weight... you're still gonna have to friggin eat. It's a part of life.
All day, everyday, food is there. You better make peace with it now or else you're in for a world of hurt. And if you attach emotions to food, you won't be at goal weight for long. That shit will come back to haunt you like your 80's hair.
We are emotional beings, especially us women. We always want to attach meaning or feeling to everything. To a large extent we can’t help it. We are wired that way. It’s what makes us such great mamas and listeners. It’s what gives us that dead-ass accurate intuition and the built-in bullshit detectors. Being connected to the world through emotions is a good thing. Being connected to food through emotions? Not so much.
Emotional eating is the most common reason we get fat. Emotional eating is a by-product of emotional pain. We eat when we’re depressed. We eat when we’re anxious. We eat when we’re hurting. We eat to soothe our pain.We eat to get through the bad parts. Oh and guess what? We also eat when we’re celebrating things. We eat when we’re happy. We eat to reward ourselves. We eat to connect with others. We eat to honor to good parts. Okay so basically we eat to match every friggin emotion, occasion, and reason that is in existence. So how do we ever win the food battle?
You stop giving food your power.
Look, we’re always going to celebrate with food. There’s nothing wrong with that. Holidays, birthdays, picnics, weddings, family dinners, etc. Food will always be a part of these events and that’s okay! It should be. Where you have to change your response to food is on the other side of the emotion scale… all the negative, sad, shameful feelings. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO EAT. You are not bad because you decide to have cookies for breakfast. Now you may not be dropping mad amounts of weight if those are the choices you make on the regular, but there’s a key word here… CHOICE. You get to choose what goes in your body.
Whatever you choose, you need to own.
The only way to stop giving food all of your power is to take the power back. Own your decisions and understand the consequences. Stop letting a piece of cake make you feel bad. That’s ridiculous. Either pass on the cake and choose to be proud of a healthy choice or eat the cake, enjoy it, and get the hell over it.
It’s not a cheat, it’s a choice.
Once you realize that, you have all the power. If you are making a conscious effort to have Aunt Sally’s famous cheesecake on Saturday night, then you don’t have to feel bad about it. You're CHOOSING to eat it. You’re not cheating. WhoTF came up with this cheating shit? You are allowed to enjoy unhealthy foods on occasion. The fact that we are deemed a cheater if we do is absolutely ridiculous.
Here’s the dealio. You cannot eat 100% healthy, 100% of the time. It is an impossibility. It will never happen. I don’t care if your mantle is full of Self-Control and Most Determined awards. I don’t care if you’ve won 11 gold medals in the fucking Dieting Olympics. You are going to eat a dessert or a greasy bacon cheeseburger every once in a while, maybe more than once in a while. To label someone as cheating because they’re eating something less than healthy is unfair and uncalled for. You are allowed to deviate from perfect eating every once in a while.
If it sounds like I get fired up when it comes to this subject, it’s because I do. I was morbidly obese for over 10 years and I bought into the fact that I was a lazy disgusting slob because I couldn’t eat healthy 100% of the time. I shamed myself constantly and called myself names. I bashed myself unmercifully because of this bullshit. By the grace of God I was able to get out from underneath the shaming long enough to realize that not only should I NOT be letting food control me or take my power away from me, but I shouldn’t be letting society’s overall labeling of obese people or the latest diet buzz words like ‘cheat meal’ have any hold over me as well. Most importantly, I realized that I was the biggest culprit in perpetuating these societal classifications onto myself. I bought this bullshit hook, line, and sinker.
The bottomline is: Take control of your decisions and understand that what you put into your body and how you choose to live is exactly that… YOUR CHOICE. Own it so that you can be the one with all the power.
And for God’s sake, if you want a piece of cake or some ice cream, don’t let it rip you apart emotionally. Just eat it, get over it, and move with your damn life.
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*The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content in this article is for general information purposes only. I am not a doctor, nor am I a dietitian. Talk to your physician before making any changes in your diet or exercise regimen. The information found in this article is from various sources which include, but are not limited to, the sites listed above. I encourage you to do your own research and talk with your physician before making any changes in diet or exercise. What has worked for me may not work for you. This information in this article or on this website should never replace or serve as medical advice.
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